Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
