Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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