he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Damn victory sex feels great
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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