Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
