Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
cat food counts as protein by the way
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
