so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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