he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
smell my finger.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
