"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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