I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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