oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize