I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
