brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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