you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
