nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
