Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
