I am in a vortex of obligation.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
