Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
