i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
