just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
