My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
