I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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