FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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