Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
