i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
try to milk me bitch
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