Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
