there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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