someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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