just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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