I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
