yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
