Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
