We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
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Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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