I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
