He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
