therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
