There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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