Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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