tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
