Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
