these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize