You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Alive.
So much puke
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
