I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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