He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
