Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
