return my video game
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
