he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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