I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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