I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
