he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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