I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do vagina's smell?
My pussy is not your playground.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
