i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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