I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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