a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize