he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Liz is crying about burritos again.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Couch. On fire.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
