Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
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He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
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The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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