Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
