The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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