Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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