Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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