last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
