Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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