no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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