Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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